mynameisdevon: rodneykong: shoutout to me for still not having my driver’s license
jawnn-locked: holyklainebowsbatman: samwinchestears: theblackship: minseoktoe: chii24: THE SUN IS ON FIRE, I REPEAT, THE SUN IS ON FIRE. #THE OCEAN IS FLOODING #I REPEAT #THE OCEAN IS FLOODING. THIS IS AN EMERGENCY, THE EARTH IS SPINNING GUYS, IT’S SPINNING!!! A MYSTERIOUS GAS HAS SETTLED ALL THROUGHOUT EARTH AND WE ARE CURRENTLY BREATHING IT IN Guys there’s no food in my...
Friend without a tumblr: I wanna show you something
Me: I've seen that
emifail: deckitout: my mom just asked me why i was drawing my dad for comparison this is my dad i feel uncomfortable finishing this now IM LAUGHIGN SO HARD
theladythorki: avalar: the fact that dragons dont exist in real life is fuckin bullshit
People will kill you over time, and how they’ll kill you is with tiny, harmless...– Dylan Moran (via farewell-kingdom)
me: *unwraps present to find an anime artbook*
mom: there you go, now you can learn more about drawing the mangos
mom: i meant manga please don't put this on your blog
dekutree: weird mewtwo and jfk comparisons both were made in a lab mewtwo had a secretary named kennedy, kennedy had a secretary named mewtwo both have incredible psychic powers kennedy became president in 1960, mewtwo became president in 6019 mewtwo was shot in the head and killed, kennedy was shot in the head and killed mewtwo was resurrected 3 days later and ascended to heaven, kennedy...
ollivander: ollivander: I don’t think my mom knows the new printer is wireless this is my chance
urbancatfitters: slytherin-starkid-of-tardis: urbancatfitters: everyone is embarrassed of their fourteen year old self trust me if you’re fourteen right now you will regret whatever it is that you are doing at this moment What, being a SuperWhoLockian, Tumblrian, and just being generally pretty good? I don’t think so. screenshot this and look at it in 3 years
aambivalent: thatsmoderatelyraven: maryland is so weird just look at the shape of it and look at it to the side it looks like a person on the computer sitting on a chair bitch i will dump old bay in your eyes. leave maryland alone
sexybritishllama: assporn: sexybritishllama: when the moon hits ur eye like a big pizza pie thats amore when u swim in a creek and an eel bites ur cheek thats a moray Actually, Morays can’t live in creeks because it’s too freshwater for them to survive long. They need to live in brackish environments in order to live a healthy life. when u swim in a brackish environment and an eel...
anvantastic: whereismyoscar: why would...
cas-get-into-my-ass: deadlyspoons: ok ice cubes are fucking badass i mean they float around in their own blood
you guys i opened a door to let the dogs out and a fucking spider ran across my foot inside and then i was screaming and my mom dropped a plastic bowl on it to not let it run away and then it fUCKING GAVE BIRTH ON THE FLOOR IN THE BOWL AND THEN WE WERE BOTH SCREAMING WHAT DO I DO ITS STILL IN THE BOWL AND ITS JUST HAVING MORE BABIES FUCK IT DROPPED MORE BABIES MY DADS LIKE GASSING...
iwillfindyouandiwillshipyou: styouth: t-iah: do you ever get so mad that you need to sing about it and pound your fists on a golf course you can bet on it
tyleroakley: ichthyologist: samspiderman: ok we had to watch this in chem class that sexual tension that spill was not an accident So does your lab partner get to watch for the whole 15 minutes?
imholdingoutforasavinggrace: i dont think people understand how lonely i am on facebook omg
laughcentre: reasonswhydansafail: sleepingartist: urbancatfitters: if i ever start a band i’m going to name it “music” and then it will be literally impossible to find any of our songs on the internet the first album : “Unknown album” the hit single: “track 1” album art you’re all satan
sammywinchestersbutt: elizabitchtaylor: Since most of us are in bed with our laptops I like to think it means we’re kind of in bed together never before have I read a more beautiful statement
so in Japanese, we sang Rudolph the Red-Nosed...
here’s a general gist of the translation: Rudolph had a shiny nose no one liked him he cried every night then one Christmas it was dark Santa decided Rudolph’s nose was convenient (literally it says convenient) Rudolph was useful. I SHIT YOU NOT.